So, hold on to me tonight
Hold on, I'll promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Than we could ever be alone
Michael Buble - Hold On


I guess F didn't believe in it. Didn't believe in Sg girls, which is still leaving me feel like shiat. Seriously. Today I took the next step in forgetting him. I deleted all of his messages. Every. Single. Text. I may regret it, I may not, who knows? On some days when I really miss him I'd go through our text conversations and I'll know he's there, mostly because of his random texts to me. Now that it's all been deleted, I don't know how I'd feel the next time I feel like looking through our texts. I can do nothing but leave it to my memory. "I want to meet you soon", "Baby good morning", "Baby what are you doing now", "Baby I miss you so much I love you".


Talk is cheap. Tasha was stopping me when I was deleting it, and I didn't let her hit that 'Cancel' button on my phone. As hard as it is, I gotta deal. Tasha was looking at my phone's wallpaper and it was a bunch of text I grabbed off someone's Tumblr.


It says "Maybe I'll like someone else, but it won't be the same. I loved you, I loved you with all that I am. I still do. No one else will compare to you, no one else will be the same, or even close. I will never be able to give all of myself to anyone else, because, I already gave myself to you. I will always look for you in everyone I meet. I wish I could tell you this. I'm gonna miss you like hell."


She told me it was something I could have personally written. Yeah, I thought the same too, the moment I read it online. I should really lay my grubby hands off Tumblr.


Might go to Kopitiam tonight to waste my youth, drink Redbull and eat 2 char siew bao. Maybe the baos aren't that good of an idea considering how hard I jogged today.

I'm not trying to start any controversy here but..


Why is it that when Haiti has an earthquake, songs are sung for them, but when Indonesia had a tsunami, they had nothing? China, nothing?


What?

... Is Jay Sean's body totally wow or what??!!


Big, big mistake to drink last night. I barfed in bed. Somehow it got INTO my laptop. It's something I don't understand 'cos between me and thelaptop it was my bolster which is higher than the laptop. Laptop has been rendereduseless and it is fucking 3 months old. I ought to kill myself.


I decided to swear off liquor.


But beer is still ok for me. And cheaper!


----
11:07pm


I did something out of the ordinary today. I went for a walk+jog. Yes you saw that right. I'm so out of that sick lifestyle I had. It's time for a revoluuuuution. Heh. I jogged from my block to 2 bus stops away then i made a turn round the blocks and walked back home. Half an hour, but to me it's not too bad for a start. Knowing me, I think I will give up soon but I will try to maintain this. Haha! I have already decided I'll go again tomorrow morning.

I'm sorry to those im terrorizing on msn over farid.........


i am fucking high now its not fiunny annymoee. :( i am sad.


i think if i had fucking twitteri 'd just do nothing but mope over being sad all day all night.


i love apircot flavoured rum. its the shitzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


baby doint worry its alright im alriight when it knocks you downnnn


i am still sad after saying how i feel.


somehow i feel like my entire life is a very nice story on fml. they should make a book about my lifestory of 2010.

Mid-afternoon boredom led me to my nail polish collection... And I re-did my nails. I know I just did them on Thursday but I simply cannot resist!!

My fingers, they smell like a certain part of you.


Somehow, I think last week was the last I'd ever see of you.

I bumped into Nang (Nan??) last night, that Thai girl that Farid and his friends know as well. We were talking...And she said something which I don't know if I wanna believe.


I could believe it just to make myself happy or I could totally disregard what she said. 'Cos anyway I'll never know the truth. I can't read F.


"Don't worry. Farid tell me, he love you a loooot."


Uh, thanks, ok.


I'm gonna make myself a nice drink to chillax now. Yay vodka.

He touches your leg and thinks he's getting close
For now you let him just this once
Just for now
And just like that - it's over
Belle Of The Boulevard, Dashboard Confessional


Just this once? Yeah sure just this once, twice, and for the rest of your life.


If you stay.

I had a spaz moment yesterday evening hahaha till now I cannot stop laughing when I think of it. So we were in a Sonata cab and I was fiddling with the window button, like I've always done. I have this habit of lifting it. But today I was trying to fit the first third of my finger in that small space and I didn't realise the window was down till I heard this sound like ROARRRRRRRRRRRR which was like the wind blowing into the cab HAHAHHAHAHA I can't stop laughing to myself now my stomach hurts.



So this is the top view of the button thing right, my finger was lying right on top of it and I was trying to fit my 1/3 of my finger into that small space BEFORE the (black) button. Hahahaha fuck!!


I couldn't stop laughing for a good 10mins in the cab and when Bryan heard me laugh he was laughing at me laughing omgomglol I didn't know I was so retarded!!


Anyway, I had a very good weekend, despite having the feeling that Farid was like a total stranger to me. All was made up when he held my hand at Tabla, and as we walked to get a cab from Boat Quay. Never really wanted to ever let go heh. This is the kind of thing which I'd probably never get, as in, what I am to him. I really missed him so much and you know, I had to make up for lost time hahaha. Soon enough, I'd be done with this whole Farid chapter. Funnily enough, on Friday night I was feeling so shitty and crying over about not being able to meet him and I got to see him on Saturday night.


Tiong and I are probably going to Mustafa tomorrow to just.. Walk around heh I'm hoping to see him there haha. Today I was there with my brother and I was so scared to bump into him walking with his wife or something hahaha not that I know that he has one but who knows?! walked from Mustafa to Tekka. Fucking hell it was so HOT and I had a blister on each foot from my new shoes. I blamed my brother haha 'ABANGGG! PAIN!' We had 15mins to wait at the ATM, with 37 people in front of us. It seemed fucking impossible but it was done. I mean, there was 2 machines. We panicked like hell 'cos the shop my brother wanted to buy his Oakleys from closes at 6pm haha we ran all the way from Tekka market to somewhere diagonally across. Lucky thing the traffic lights were in our favour! His Oakleys look damn good and it was cheap!


Can't stop stoning, but I can't sleep. Wtf it's craziness. HAHA OH, my brother made this pick-up line with Farid's name haha. "Would you like to take a ride on my Farid's Wheel?" hahaha! I'm back to laughing to myselffff omg it must be the tiredness accumulated over the weekend.


How I wish every weekend would be as good as this past one. :)


----
2:30pm


Damn bored at home, so I painted my nails again.

Last night was madness haha my brother and I were bored to death right? So we took a cab to Sengkang and bought a bottle of Absolut vodka + other mixers and waaay too much RedBull. I got damn high on the vodka 'cos we were playing cards and I kept losing. Ok that's that.


Then about 2:30am we made a very last minute decision and headed out. He went out with Tiong while I went to Clarke Quay, sober, to meet Farid and his friends. So we were at Zirca for a while then we went to Tabla at Boat Quay. Hella funny place, can't get over it. Had Chivas there daaaamn Farid's friend made it so strong for me! I was so close to being drunk last night. Left that place at like 5:30am and spent time with Farid till 6:30am.


Sucks to be waiting for a cab at some god-forsaken place at Cantonment area, really. I was getting so impatient and the sun was really coming up already!


So yeah I'm here, a happy person. I haven't met Farid in like 3 weeks! :D But I guess I won't see him ever again after the 28th of this month. He said he's leaving Sg for good. And so is his one of his other friends, the reeeally hot one who LOVES to bully and disturb me.


But I'll get over I guess? It took me 3 weeks to slowly get over not texting and/or seeing him.


Oh well. Bedtime for me now!

Boredom on a Saturday evening led my brother and I to...







Drawing competitions and playing with my eyeliner. I'm liking the lotus I copied from the Net heh but somehow it looks like bananas. And my hanya's horns look damn sad!


Vodka with redbull, Sprite, Fanta orange is on tooooooooonight at my place! :D

My fingernails are beyond dry! They're so so so damaged. But who cares, it's something a little bit of nail polish can hide!

I just saw this on the LJ Postsecret community. "You completely broke my heart, and you've made me absolutely miserable since then, yet I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about our times together."


Uh, yeah. It's something I'd have written. It's weird 'cos I was just having that butterflies feeling, then I read it, and I was like thinking 'Hey that could have been me typing that!'.


Horrible feelingI'm having now. Last night at Rebel when I looked to my left there was a couple making out. Looked to my right, another couple making out. I almost got wasted last night 'cos the sights were really damn fucking depressing. Tiong didn't make things better when he saw another couple making out and he tapped my shoulder and told me to turn and look. What the fuck?! Bastard.


I don't really know if I wanna go tonight. :( I still miss him so much.

So I'm going to someone's wedding solemnization gathering this evening...


Makes me think of F. Oh well.


See ya!

Sad stories aside here are some pictures from the first 2 weeks of January. I've done up a list of things that happened in 2009 in point form and it's really long, I don't know if I should put it here for memory's sake. It's actually a summary of stuff that happened from past entries.


My itchy fingers won the battle and I texted F. Nothing much, I just asked him 'Are you working?' and got more than I wanted to know in his reply to me.


On to the pictures!



Lesson learnt from singing and copying+pasting URLS here: I can't multitask.

Yeah I did it, again.
My 'hawk is back! Loving the short hair at the sides. Feels so nice and soft.





Anyway, he texted me this morning. After I had a druuunken night out at Tasha's.
'Good morning baby . How are you'
I really didn't know if I should reply, but I did it anyway. I think he'd die if he saw me with my hair like that and not that almost-pixie hairdo.


....... and I had no reply in return.








SUP???